Missed Chances
by ptrtool1999
Summary: For two years, Harry has been secretly pining after Hermione. But Ron told him, in no uncertain terms, that she wasn't interested. And Hermione, secretly, was in love with Harry, but was also misled by Ron. Finally, though, Harry is going to admit his feelings to her, if only he could track her down...


PTRTOOL1999

Missed Chances

Hermione / Harry / Ron

Drama

Rate: T version

 _Harry has been pining after Hermione for 2 years, finally determined to tell her how he feels despite Ron telling him she wasn't interested. And Hermione had wanted Harry too, but Ron kept her away, and she finally has decided to move on. What will the pair do, when Ron's duplicity comes to light?_

 **Chapter 1:**

It was one week before Halloween at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry during his 5th year, Harry Potter was not happy as he stalked through the corridors. Hidden under his cloak late on the 3rd Saturday night of October, he passed through deserted corridors with less than a whisper to mark his passing.

He had been looking for Hermione for over an hour now, checking her usual haunts, before he finally thought of using the Marauders Map. And sure enough, there she was, with Ron somewhere on the 6th floor.

He was on a mission. He was determined to ask her out for tomorrows Hogsmeade visit. And he would simply ask Ron to excuse them so he could talk to her privately, which he had really no opportunity to do for several weeks now.

As he approached the 6th floor, he zoomed in the map. He stopped for a moment in surprise. It looked like she and Ron were definitely on 6, but not in the hall. It looked like they were in a classroom, and Harry was determined to find out what was going on.

Were they practicing spells? He remembered he and Hermione practicing spells during 4th year in unused classrooms.

They must be doing that, he thought to himself. He didn't think they were on a patrol. After all, didn't he hear from Ernie McMillan, the 5th year Hufflpeuff male prefect, that Gryffindor 5th year prefects did Friday nights, not Saturdays?

Harry had spent very little time with his best friends so far this year. Ron had been very hard to locate all semester, especially after he made the Quidditch team back in September, and Hermione seemed just as busy. It seemed they all had different schedules, and any time Harry was free his friends were scarce.

But some light had been shed on Ron's absences from the common room, at least. Last week, Harry had overheard Ron bragging to a loudmouthed 6th year named Cormac Mclaggen - in the Gryiffondor locker room after practice - about some 'most excellent wank jobs' he had been getting from some mystery Gryffindor girl.

Initially, Harry thought Ron might be lying, as he had not seen him with anyone finally, though, Harry had been looking for Hermione one night on the map and instead found Ron, with a 4th year named Romilda Vane, unmoving on the 3rd floor. When he zoomed in, he saw they were in a broom cupboard, and it wasn't too hard to figure out that they weren't in there to sweep.

Mystery solved.

A few days later, Harry teasingly confronted Ron about his mystery girl, and after a few moments when Ron's ears turned very red, Ron admitted he had been seeing Romilda for a while. And a bit to Ron's surprise, Harry gave him a wide grin and congratulated him. "She's quite the looker, Ron. Good on you mate." He then lowered his voice. "But you might want to keep the stories a bit quiter when talking to Mclaggen. Romilda might not appreciate being talked about in the boys locker room, if you know what I mean. And that lout can't keep a secret if his life depended on it."

Initially taken back by realizing that if Harry had overheard him, others might have as well. And Ron knew that could be very bad, if certain people heard about it.

Ron finally smiled back, relieved that Harry was cool with the whole thing. And for his part, Harry thought he finally understood why he never saw Ron around the tower anymore. After all, if it was true and he was getting some serious stress relief with the very attractive 4th year, then Harry was happy for him. Between Quidditch practice, his prefect patrols, and the difficult assignments inherent in their OWL year, it was surprising Ron had any time for Romilda at all.

Seemed like everyone was hooking up this year. Dean and Ginny, Neville and Hannah Abott, Seamus and Parvati, and now Ron and Romilda.

Harry was the only boy in his dorm without a girl. Now determined to do something about it, Harry had only to find the object of his desire : Hermione.

He had been looking forward to - and dreading this as well - for a long time. Harry had realized the summer after 3rd year that he liked Hermione. Liked her a lot.

And he knew that if she didnt like him back, he was going to get hurt.

He also realized this was a very real possibility, as he thought back to the summer after 3rd year and what happened then. He remembered asking Ron if he thought that Hermione might like him, as in like him like him, like a boyfriend kind of like. He remembered Ron's face turning very red, but before Harry could say anything Ron shook his head. And then Ron told him that Hermione thought of Harry as a younger brother that she had to look out for.

At that point, Harry's feelings for Hermione were very vague, and although he was disappointed he didn't dwell on it overmuch. So, he turned his attentions to Cho Chang, determined to go on a date with her and planning on asking her before Christmas for a Hogsmeade date.

But that didn't work out so well. By the time he had gotten his nerve up, he was suddenly entered into the TriWizard tournament and most of the school thought he was either a cheater or a glory hound.

Really, for three weeks after his name came out of the accursed goblet, Hermione was the only person who would spend any time with him.

When he performed well against the dragon, he was suddenly popular again, and when the ball was announced he was unsure whether to ask Hermione or Cho.

He wrestled with this until he finally thought that Hermione really didn't like him in a boyfriend kind of way, so he asked Cho. But Cho said no, she was going with Cedric.

So he gathered up his courage, ready to ask Hermione, when Ron asked her in the most insulting fashion. During her rant, he found out she already had a date so he asked Parvati in desperation.

When Harry saw how beautiful Hermione looked at the ball, he felt a deep sadness. Both he and Ron stewed the entire night, ruining it for their dates. He felt certain now that Hermione didn't like him at all in a romantic sense, and she seemed to get on well with Krum.

After she was his 'most treasured possession' after the 2nd task, he was in a funk, wondering if he would ever have a chance with her. Girls had asked him out several times before the 3rd task for dates to Hogsmeade, but he turned them all down.

There was only one girl he wanted to go out with.

So he bided his time, hoping that when Krum left for Bulgaria he would have a chance.

The kiss at the train station gave him hope, maybe she did like him a bit. But then, she basically ignored him all summer, and he was furious when he found out she and Ron were together with his Godfather, and he was stuck with the Dursleys.

And to compound his anger, he didn't get the prefect spot he was counting on so he could spend time with her alone. Between his detentions with Umbridge, occlumency lessons with Snape, Quidditch practice, and studying, he rarely saw Hermione outside of class.

He almost gave up on the whole idea, but he had held out this long, turning more girls down when they asked him on dates. And, despite her snubbing him this summer, he really liked her. Sometimes he thought she was the most important person in his life.

So he had finally decided that he was going to man up his Gryffindor courage and simply ask her out, risks of being rejected be damned. If she said yes, and they had a good time, he was even prepared to quit Quidditch so they had time together.

As these thoughts ran through his head, he walked down to the 6th floor under his cloak, and stopped outside the classroom. For some reason, there was no sound coming from the room, so he checked the map one more time.

Sure enough, they were both there. And their dots were literally on top of each other.

What could they be doing in there? Was she helping him with his homework again? He had seen them together on the map quite often, but that was all prefect patrols, and, he assumed, meetings. He saw them a few times in the prefects bathroom as well, and he remembered – with some jealousy – how well appointed it was. He realized that, if he was Quidditch captain next year, he would be able to use it.

And maybe, if he was dating Hermione, they could use it together...

Shaking his head to clear it, Harry went to open the door, only to find it locked. He frowned at this. Why would it be locked? Now becoming more cautious – and feeling a strange knot forming in his gut – he used the knife Sirius had given him and noiselessly opened the lock.

The knife handled the lock with ease, and there was no noise when he opened the door - probably the sound charm was still affecting it. Opening the door, he walked into the classroom, and the silence that was pervasive outside was suddenly lifted, as he passed the border of the silencing charm.

Even as this thought registered in his mind, and the knot in his gut became heavier, sounds reached his ears, and through a screen of some sort he saw two lumpy shadows. The sound was coming from there.

"Bloody hell," he heard Ron's voice suddenly saying, in a throaty whisper he had never heard him use before. "That feels so bloody good."

Harry's legs seemed to move automatically now, as his mind was completely blank, the cloak falling to drape around his shoulders as he came around the screen, utterly confused as his brain refused to comprehend what he was hearing and then seeing.

It took him a moment to understand what was in front of him, not ten feet away. And when he did finally register what his gut had been telling him was true, an electric jolt traveled from the base of his spine into his brain, like a burning bolt of fire.

Ron was sitting on a high backed couch, his shirt undone and his tie hanging loosely down his front. His pants and boxer shorts were down around his ankles, and his legs were spread at the knees.

But it was what was in front of Ron, sitting on the floor, that made Harry's eyes bug out and brain short-circuit.

For there, kneeling down between Ron's legs, was Hermione, bushy hair in a messy ponytail and naked from the waist up. As comprehension swept through him, he could only stare in dumbfounded horror as what was happening hit him like a thunderbolt.

As Harry stopped dead in his tracks, the details of the scene in front of him made his head feel like it might burst.

It was probably less than a half a minute since Harry had entered the room, but those few seconds would be etched into his mind forever. He could only gape in horror, not believing what he was witnessing, when Ron finally looked up, meeting Harry's eyes.

For a long second, Ron didn't say anything before he realized Harry was really there and his eyes weren't playing tricks. Ron yelped out "Merlin, Harry!" and jumped to his feet, stumbling because of his pants around his ankles, Hermione went sprawling to the floor. Harry's eyes cut to her, and she looked up at Harry, eyes widening with shock.

Harry had never seen the look he was currently seeing in her eyes. Pure, unadulterated fear and shock, and another emotion he couldn't read.

Even as Hermione realized what was happening and brought her hands up to cover her naked chest, mouth open in a wide 'o', Harry looked up at Ron, anger in his voice as he spat out the words. "Which one are you cheating on, Ron? Hermione? Or Romilda?"

Before he could answer, Harry turned and fled, ignoring Hermione's panicked shouts for him to wait and Ron's muffled curses.

He wasn't sure for how long he wandered, only that it was very, very late when he returned to the common room. Not unexpectedly, he saw Hermione sleeping on the sofa, where she probably was waiting for him. But she was the absolute last person he wanted to see right now, and used his cloak to sneak back to his room where he collapsed on his bed, not even bothering to undress.

Ron wasn't there, and Harry was glad for it. He couldn't face him.

Harry was cursing himself for being a fool, for thinking Hermione would be interested in him. He cursed himself for waiting, for wishing, for wanting.

No, he was done with her. He locked away his heart, angry at his friends for lying to him, and angry at himself for not listening to Ron 2 years ago when he told him that Hermione saw him as a brother.

*8*8*8*

Harry did not sleep well that night. He closed his curtains, and when Neville tried to shake him awake for breakfast he told him to leave him be.

Harry skivved off classes that morning, and was debating whether or not he should even go to lunch, when he finally got himself out of bed and into the shower. After getting dressed, he was about to leave his room when he saw the door open and a head of bushy hair peak in.

Harry froze, green eyes meeting brown. He did not want to have this conversation now, and even though he could see from the redness of her eyes that she had been crying, he did not care. "Hermione, please get out of my room, right now," he hissed out. "I do not want to speak with you right now."

Hermione only nodded, but completely ignored him and came inside and shut the door behind her. She leaned back against the door, basically blocking it. To leave, he would have to physically get her out of the way. "I mean it, Hermione. Get out!" he snarled.

"I'm sorry, Harry, but we need to talk. Please." There was a deep sorrow in her voice, and Harry cursed himself for caring.

Clearly stifling her own tears, she spoke in a quavering voice. "I wanted to tell you about Ron and I for weeks, but he…" and she stopped, hiccupping as if she was trying to control a sob. She looked at Harry with wide, pleading eyes, but Harry didnt indicate any emotions to her besides anger.

Finally, he snarled at her. "What, Hermione? He forced you to not tell me? Just like Dumbledore forced you to ignore me last summer?" Harry was really angry, and really hurt. And he felt like a complete fool.

"Harry, he..he said that if you knew we were fooling around together that you would be uncomfortable when you were with us, that you would think you were a 3rd wheel or something. And you know you would have acted like that! We never wanted that!" she said, voice full of emotion. "I…I wanted to tell you weeks ago, after the first night we kissed really, but you and I hardly ever see each other anymore and Ron said if we did tell you that we would see you even less!"

She was openly crying now, and Harry felt his defenses weaken a bit. He was never good with crying girls, especially a crying Hermione.

But for now, his anger and bitterness won out. "That's bullshit Hermione. He didn't want to tell me because he knew that I would tell you he was snogging Vane on the side!" he snarled. "And you promised – promised! – after last summer that you wouldn't keep any big secrets!" Harry bean pacing in the small room. "And finding out my best friends are shagging behind my back is a pretty big effing secret!" he growled at her. He threw his hands up, fists balled in frustration. "Two effing years! What a waste!"

Hermione raised her hands to her face, crying into them. "We didn't….we didn't shag Harry, I swear!" she said, ignoring everything else he said, hurt by his bitter recriminations.

"Oh year, right. I just watched you giving him head and let his hands roam on your ass, I'm sure you were not planning on shagging any time soon!" he roared, and for the first time since the summer before 3rd year he released accidental magic, and Ron's bedposts started to shake.

Hermione slid down the door in shock, until she was sitting with her knees at her chest, sobbing. Harry waited for someone to come check on the noise in the room, but it looked like everyone was at lunch.

Hermione cried for another minute, wishing Harry would hug her, wishing she had never kissed Ron, wishing wishing wishing...but knowing he wouldn't. It took her a long minute to get her crying under control. when she whispered in a patheticly sad voice. "Ron and I…he lied to me, Harry. And he used me. I didn't know he was seeing Romilda. I had asked him several times to actually take me on a date, or to at least stop predenting we were just doing normal prefect patrols. But he always refused, saying it would upset you. And I gave in, I'm sorry. I was scared. And, and I see he was right, we should have told you, I'm sorry."

"And where is the lying prat?" Harry asked, heat still in his voice.

Hermione grimaced. "The hospital wing. I asked him about Romilda, and he tried to lie and weasel his way out of it, giving me some line about you being mistaken. But his ears always turn red when he lies, and he finally admitted he had been seeing her for a few weeks when I threatened him. So I hexed him with stinging hexes to his bollocks," she said, looking down.

Normally, this would have had Harry laughing at the deserved justice, but he couldn't muster the energy. "Ok, then Hermione, you've said your piece. Now, just please go," he said.

She looked back up at him, tear stained cheeks and red eyes looking vulnerable and sad. "I'm sorry, Harry. Sorry for listening to him, and sorry for getting involved with him."

Harry nodded, looking away from her pathetically desperate expression. "How long?" he finally asked. "Were you two together all summer? And why Ron of all people?"

"No!" Hermione said. "Nothing happened before a few weeks ago, at all, it's all recent! Around middle of September, I swear," she said, desperately needing him to believe her. "And it wasn't planned or anything, I wasn't sure I would have even wanted to date him until he asked my what snogging was like and asked me to snog him!"

Harry was stupefied at this news. Ron had just Gryffindored up and asked her to kiss him? And she did? Did that make her a 'loose girl'?

But no, he dismissed that thought. Never a loose girl, never, not Hermione.

But, they were both braver than him, he thought sadly.

And if he was honest with himself, he didn't care that much that they kept it from him.

No, what he cared about that he wished he was in Ron's place.

Feeling betrayed, confused, and tired, Harry looked at her skeptically. She saw the expression on his face and she rushed out her words. "It's true, Harry! We snogged, and then one night on patrol we came across a few couples in the broom closets, and they were doing things, and it looked.." she trailed off, biting on her lip, which distracted Harry.

He always liked when she did that.

He shook his head to clear it as she spoke in a quavering voice, like she was unhappy to be admitting something to him, but doing it anyway. "And…and he asked if I would snog him again, and we did…and he touched me, and it kind of went from there…,"she finished lamely.

Harry looked at her with scorn. "Yeah, kind of went from there. Went from not sure if you liked him to sucking him off a month later!" he said, anger rising again.

Hermione looked down, partly in shame and partly in confusion. She knew she had moved fast with Ron, but she couldn't understand why Harry was so angry about what they did. Yes, she understood him being angry at the secrets, but the rest?

"I know not telling you was probably a stupid thing to do," she finally said, when she saw Harry was waiting for a response. "I mean, I knew Ron wouldn't be able to keep it secret forever. He likes to brag too much," she said with some disgust. "And I should have told you even if Ron wouldn't. I mean, you are my best friend, by far. I'm sorry," she said quietly.

Seeing that Harry wasn't satisfied, she steeled herself to reveal some things about herself that no one knew. Shoulders hunching inward, like she was protecting herself from a blow, she spoke very softly. "It's just…well, no one besides Viktor ever paid any attention to me, and then can get old, when everyone is hooking up with everyone else." She sniffled again, wiping her runny nose with the handkerchief as fresh tears fell from her eyes. "You know, me, the funny looking bookworm, that no guy would ever want to date."

Harry looked at her disbelievingly, trying to wrap his head around her words, when she started speaking again, in a rushed mumble of words, while she looked down at her feet. Her 'verbal vomit' was an old habit of hers, appearing whenever she was very nervous.

Her words came tumbling at, rapid fire. "And then, Ron was there, and he was showing actual physical attraction to me. And meanwhile, the guy I was really interested in never looked twice at me, and I knew you were eventually going to date Cho – I mean, anyone can see she is hung up on you – and if Ron was dating someone then I would be all alone again…" she replied, miserably, shaking and crying as she poured out her deepest feelings and fears to Harry.

As Harry tried to make sense of her mumbled, rambling speech, he finally scoffed at her, not bothering to question who the 'secret boy' that Hemione mentioned. He was too angry to be thinking straight.

And really, she must be blind! No one attacted to her? Nuts! People drooled over her at the Yule Ball last christmas! And the brief glimpse he got of her last night showed her to have a cracking body!

So all he did was laugh at her, though there was bitterness in it. "Hermione, that's absurd."

She startled at his forced declaration, but had no chance to say anything as he was just getting started. "First off, you are daft. I would never have abandoned you, ever. You are hands down the best friend I ever had." He did not see her startled look as he counted off on his fingers. "And secondly, you must be blind as well. There are several guys who would date you if you wanted to. Hell, I've had at least two or three guys ask me this year if you were dating me or Ron, and there are probably half a dozen more who only stay away from you because they think I'm a nutter and would hurt them!"

Hermione had no words to answer with. She was frozen in place as Harry made light of her deepest fears.

"And your body!" he continued. "Merlin Hermione! You're really sexy! I wouldv'e killed to be in Rons place!" he shouted, not completely cognizant of what he was saying, as he tried to alleviate Hermione's unjustified feelings by laying it out for her that he found her desirable and attactive, and so did many others.

Hermione was gobscmacked at Harry's impromptu rant. Did he mean what he just said or was he just being noble and trying to make her feel better? Had the taunts of her childhood, and her total tunnel vision on taking care of her two best friends make her miss all of this?

She wasn't sure. She would think on it later.

The pair stared at each other in silence, and the look on Harry's face made her think he was daring her to contradict him.

So, finally, she sighed, feeling fatigued and confused. "Ok, Harry, maybe, maybe not. But I still felt that way, and I've felt that way for a long time. Like..like I'm a walking brain, and that's all I'm good for."

Harry shook his head in disbelief, before running a hand through his messy hair. A long silence passed, and he watched as she again started biting her bottom lip. A sure sign she was thinking deeply about something.

He didn't have to wait long before she spoke again. "Harry? Can I ask you a question?" When she saw him about to say no, she hurried on. She needed to know. "What did you mean, when you said 'two years?' I told you, Ron and I have only been together….been intimate... for a few weeks. And we never even went on an official date. We've definitely not been kissing or anything else before last month, and certainly not for two years!"

She let the words hang in the air, before talking more quietly, uncertainty in her voice. "Did he…did he tell you that we were together for two years?" At this point, she did not doubt Ron might have done so, her trust in him was so low.

Despite being hurt and sad, she was also furious. No wonder Ron didn't want to take her on a date! He had Vane on the side! And maybe others as well! The prat….

Hermione felt ashamed. She had latched onto Ron because he gave her a bit of attention, and though she now knew he was using her, she was also using him, though she at least was honest with him and was willing to try for a relationship with him. But now, she realized, all she was to him was a convenient set of bits, that he easily manipulated into getting what he wanted. It was a very cunning ploy, so very Slytherin of him.

And deep down, she was very, very glad that she didn't go any further than she did. Whle she knew she wasn't even close to agreeing to shag him, she had already begun thinking about the contraceptive potion. She would have been utterly devastated had she given him her virginity to only find out later he was with another girl!

Her introspection was interrupted by Harry's harsh laugh. "No, he didn't say that you had been seeing each other. No, he never told me the two of you were together at all. And I think the only reason he told me about Vane was because last week I heard him bragging about getting a great handjob from someone, and then I told him I saw him and Vane together, on the map, in a brromcloset.

Hermione flushed scarlet, as she realized Ron might have been bragging about her, and not about Vane.

And she saw that Harry suddenly realized it too, as he was always able to read her very well. "Yeah, great," he said sarcastically, shaking his head in disgust. "Well, at least you hexed the prat, he definietely didn't deserve you. He talks so much shit about you behind your back that he and I have gotten into fights about it," he said angrily. He was waving his arms, and pacing again."I thought you were much smarter than that, Hermione. And I'm not even that upset that it was him and not me, but rather that you could ever be with someone like that in the first place!" he snarled.

Hermione could only nod, when something he said percolated through her sleep deprived and cried-out fuzzy head. "Wait, what do you mean, you are not that upset that it was him and not you?" she asked, eyes sharpening.

And then she remembered a few other things he had let slip out while he was ranting at her. Like how he would have 'loved to have been in Ron's place."

Harry's tirade and pacing stopped suddenly, as he realized what he said. His cheeks turned a crimson like she had never seen before, but then faded away as he shook his head.

She watched him, riveted, as her mind was working in overdrive at the implications of what he had just admitted.

Her introspection was interrupted when he let out a sad sounding laugh, and then he ran his hands through his hair again, looking down at the floor. "Nothing, its not important now," he said.

But Hermione was not to be denied. A glimpse of something, long hoped for, had given her the courage she needed to push on. "Please, Harry, tell me. For our friendship, and for the past five years. What did you mean?"

Harry looked up at her, and gave her a long, intense stare. He noticed the fiercley determined look on her face, and for a moment, all his emotions were unshuttered, and shone through in his eyes.

She felt trapped by his gaze, and their eyes stayed locked for another moment.

And then he sighed, and looked down, breaking the spell. He made her wait, a long, torturous minute, but she was not going to give him a pass.

He looked back up at her, and felt resigned to what was coming next - to coming clean with her. "Fine, it doesn't matter, anyway. Not anymore." He took a deep breath and then spoke, his words soft but still echoing loudly in her ears. "I asked Ron, back before 4th year, at the World Cup, if...if he thought that you would go on a date with me if I asked you."

Harry looked away, while he let that ground-breaking admission hang in the air for a moment, not wanting to see the pity in her eyes. He hurried on, before she could offer any comfort or condolences, and missed her sudden indrawn breath and the widening of her eyes. "And, well, he told me that you wouldn't, that you only thought of me as a brother, that you had absolutely no interest in me like that." Harry grimaced, running his hands through his hair again, his eyes focused anywhere but at her.

Had he been looked-up just then, he would have seen her gaping like a fish as his words rolled over her. What did he just say? She must have heard wrong. Surely she did.

But before she could sputter a response, he was talking again. "So that's why I decided I would try and date Cho. The girl I liked - you - had no interest in me. So I tried to move on."

Still not looking at her, he clenched his fist. "But it was no good. No one could compare to you. I asked Cho to the ball, but she was going with Cedric. So, despite what Ron had told me, I was trying to get the courage to ask you anyway. But Ron asked you first, and you told him you had a date, so I knew I had no chance then."

Hermione was stunned. Was she this clueless that she had no idea Harry lilked her? And behind that thought, was a slow, simmering anger at what she was going to do to Weasley when she saw him next. The bastard must have known she liked Harry! And he purposely lied to him to keep them apart!

Harry was talking again, completely oblivious to the torrent of emotions racing through her, as he felt like he was finally unburdening himself of her and his unrequited desire for her.

"After the ball, you and Krum seemed very cozy, so I tried to focus on school and the tournament. And a lot of girls were interested in me – hell, Katy Bell asked me for a Hogsmeade date! – but I was completely smitten with you and no one else could catch my interest." He sighed, his anger seeming to be mostly gone, and now he was talking in a dull monotone. "I had thought, maybe when Krum went back to Bulgaria, that I would have a chance in 5th year. But then you ignored me in July, so when I came to Grimmauld in August I was too angry to ask you for a date. And then when you and Ron got the prefect badges, I was really jealous as I was hoping to spend time with you, alone."

Still not looking up at Hermione's face, refusing to see her pitying him, he sat back down on his bed in defeat. "And then, this year, between my detentions and Snapes occlumency and Quidditch, I never saw you outside of class. And whenever I would ask you to go study or take a walk or something, you were either too busy with homework or had to patrol with Ron. " He spit out Ron's name as if it was a curse. "Yeah, patrolling, what a joke," he said, bitterly.

He finally looked up at her, seeing the almost dazed expression on her face, and her eyes shiny with tears, which he completely misread. "You know," he said, with a self-deprecating laugh,"I told Angelina I might quit the Quidditch team. I was looking for you tonight, determined to tell you how I felt and ask you to be my girlfriend. And if you had said yes, I was going to quit Quidditch so we could spend more time together, like in 4th year when Ron wasn't talking to me."

Hermione was stunned, and could not think of a single thing to say as tears streamed down her cheeks. Their eyes locked, and she felt herself drowning in deep emerald pools. And she almost gasped at the pain she saw there.

The moment was broken though, by Harry's harsh laugh. "What a joke. " He shook his head, and banged his fist onto the mattress in frustration. "I wasted two years pining for you, only to find you getting it on with Ron. Just effing great."

His last words came out mumbled, but she heard them anyway. "I don't even know why I came back this year, but I'm done now."

All the revelations of the last few minutes rolled through Hermione's mind; a mix of anger at Ron, joy at Harry's declaration of his feelings, shame at what she had been up to, and despair at his wanting to leave.

Finally, though, she had to speak. "Harry, Ron lied to you," she whispered, her words cutting through the silence. "I never said anything to him about seeing you as a brother. I've never seen you like that, Harry," she said, a trace of hope and determination in her voice.

Harry, from his position on the bed, looked up. "What? What do you mean?" he said.

Hermione finally left her place by the door, and stepped into the room, stopping at the foot of the bed, by one of the tall posts.

They were only a few feet apart now, and she stared intensely at his beautiful green eyes. "Harry, Ron lied to you. I think he knew I liked you in 3rd year - he used to sometimes throw accusations in my face whenever we were alone and I would talk about you!" she said, voice rising, "and he lied to you to keep us apart. When I was at the burrow, George made a joke about he and I acting like an old married couple, and Fred said it was you I wanted to marry."

She laughed bitterly. "He didn't take that well. He stormed out, cursing how you got everything. He really embarrassed everyone."

Harry sat there, not wanting to believe that Ron could be so duplicitous. But Hermione wasn't finished. "Around my birdthday in 4th year, he and I got in a row about one of the couples in 7th year – Sara Mcpherson and Jordan Davis - that seemed like they were always either arguing or snogging. He made some crude remark that at least the guy knew how to shut her up, and I got really angry with him. Somehow the discussion became about me, and how I would treat a boyfriend - and he then said that you agreed with him, that you saw me as a bossy older sister and hoped I didnt end up as an old cat lady!"

Harry's mouth worked open and closed as he absorbed that. "What?" he finally managed.

Hermione looked right at him, and repeated herself. "He told me that you thought of me as a sister. That you thought I was a nag and would end up alone."

Harry's eyes became very stormy, as he realized the extent of Ron's cunning duplicity. She actually thought she could feel his magic in the air, and she somehow knew Harry was about to lunge up and go tearing after Ron. But she wanted to finish this conversation, and pushed on. "Harry, since 3rd year, I can't tell you how many girls have either asked or outright accused me of dating you on the sly, because it's been obvious to everyone that I put you first in almost everything I do. "

As Harry absorbed this, she sat on the edge of the bed, less than a foot from him. "Harry," she said softly, "I set a teacher on fire for you, I break rules and risk expulsion for you, I braved a dementor attack to help you rescue your godfather, I…" she stopped, as a tear dripped from her eye, which she turned her head to surrepticiously wipe away. "Harry," she sniffled, "I didn't say yes to Viktor when he first asked me to the ball. I asked him wait, and I didn't say yes for almost a week."

Harry's eyes opened in surprise at this admission. "Harry, I was hoping you would ask me, despite that Ron told me that you thought I was a naggy sister." More tears joined the first, sliding down her pale cheeks, and she looked away. She took a deep breath, and turned back to him. "Harry, I've wanted to be with you since the end of 3rd year. I just never thought you could possibly see me that way."

"Why?" he asked quietly.

Hermione gave a half laugh, half sob. "Come on, Harry, I hear what people say about me. Bossy, bookworm, bucktooth, bush head. I know I'm not pretty like a Cho Chang or a Parvati. And you…you are handsome, and kind, and famous, you could probably have any girl you wanted." She sniffed again, and pulled a handkerchief out to blow her nose. "I'm a mess," she laughed, sniffling for another minute before turning back to him. "So you see, Harry," she whispered, "it was easy for me to believe Ron when he told me you weren't interested."


End file.
